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Should Your Teen with Disabilities Attend Their IEP Meeting?

The short answer is: Yes. In fact, legally, schools are often required to invite the student once they reach transition age.

When a student approaches age 16 (or younger in some states), the Individualized Education Program (IEP) shifts focus from general academics to Transition Planning. This legal requirement ensures the team is planning for life after high school—employment, independent living, and further education. Because these meetings are about their future, the student needs to be the one to tell the team what they want. If the IEP team guesses a student's goals, the plan often fails.

For students with cognitive delays, anxiety, or processing differences, sitting through a two-hour meeting full of legal jargon can be overwhelming. Instead of expecting them to participate like an adult, use a scaffolded approach:

  1. The "First 15 Minutes" Rule: Have the student attend only the beginning of the meeting. They can introduce themselves, share their career goals (e.g., "I want to work with animals"), and state one thing they need help with (e.g., "The classroom is too loud"). Once they have spoken, they can leave while the adults discuss the technical details.

  2. Prep a "Cheat Sheet": Many disabilities impact working memory or processing speed under stress. Before the meeting, sit down with the student and write out three bullet points they want to say. This reduces anxiety and ensures their voice is heard even if they freeze up.

  3. Leverage Self-Awareness: If a student knows their disability and delays, this is a massive strength. The most important skill for adult life is the ability to say, "I have a disability and I need help with this specific task." The IEP meeting is the safest place to practice that self-advocacy.

Finally, remember that in most states, educational rights transfer to the student at the Age of Majority (usually 18). Including them now acts as "training wheels," allowing them to see how decisions are made while parents or guardians are still legally in the driver's seat.

VillageED’s special education services page offers guidance for transition planning and student advocacy: https://www.villageed.org/sped-services.